Ring Piece

So we livin life like a video, Where the sun is always out and you never get old
and the champaign is always cold and the music is always good and the pretty girls just happen to stop by in the hood.
Oh hang on those are Jay-Z lyrics. The sun has been out a lot though.

The Josh Franco Section
I was entrusted with the responsibility to destroy the one ring to bind them all. I travelled across vast lands protected by elves, dwarves and Viggo Mortensen. I threw the ring into Mount Doom.

So there are plenty of photos up not just on Photobucket but now on Facebook too. They're on Nic's profile so go there to check them out and comment away.

So last time I left you we were hoping for some quieter times. That wasn't going to happen. In Trixie 2 we then drove to Franz Joseph in the shadow of the giant Glacier. Here we stayed with Anna and Iouan (No chance that's spelt right). They both work in the Kiwi conservation program which was super exciting because they'd just rescued a baby Kiwi. We got to have a little look at the wee thing and it was both cute and weird looking. They don't seem real with their giant beaks and fat fluffy bodies. Here's to evolution! The main attraction here was the chance to get up close and personal with the glacier. We did a full day hiking in crampons winding across the ice and through different tunnels and formations. It was strange having the massive icy glacier dominating the tiny town but it was a really beautiful little place and one of our favourite spots in the whole country.

From Franz Joseph we continued our nature odyssey onto Abel Tasman National Park. We didn't go for the hike this time. Instead we got a water taxi into the middle of the park and walked from there. Again the natural beauty didn't disappoint. From hiking a glacier to walking through lush tropical forest in a matter of days. We even took a little short cut walking through the oncoming tides up to our waist across a bay. When we finished the walk we even got to see four boobs on the beach. I think these girls were either Lesbian or European (pretty interchangeable) rolling around and straddling each other. How many points for that Franco?

Abel Tasman was our last major stop on the South Island. We spent a night in Picton enjoying the hospitality of The Sequoia Lodge - Free hot tub and free hot chocolate pudding - before hopping on the ferry to Wellington. I shouldn't boast but for once it wasn't me complaining about/being sick the whole way. Nic wasn't sick but it she had to assume the sleep position.

Finishing the South Island was sad but at the same time not so sad because joy of joys New Zealand is made up of two big islands. Little Geography lesson for you there. From the town of Picton we drove Trixie 2.0 onto the ferry at a very unsociable time of day and travelled across the sea to Wellington. This was kind of strange as it was the first time in a very long time we'd stayed in what I would call a real city. There were big buildings and people walking round and the place felt alive. Here we met up with Rachel of Scotland / Lancaster (see New Years Blog) and she showed us the sights and sounds of New Zealand's windy city. By this of course I mean we got drunk and went to bars (80s, hip-hop, gay, strip – you name it!). This isn't to say we didn't get any culture. We went to a play (called Pirates vs Ninjas) and ogled the Giant Squid at the museum. We also went on our first Lord of the Rings Tour. With a very informative guide we went into the Hobbiton woods (where we learnt to make a human horse – check the photos – best thing ever), stalked Peter Jackson's movie studios and went to the Weta Cave which was like on gigantic DVD extra. I should also mention the bizarre Worldwide hostel we stayed at. Rachel introduced us to a whole bunch of great people including Yuki the Dog Groomer and a girl who worked in the Estonian film industry as a set designer. She said they have a shortage of screenwriters so I think I'm going to just move there when we've finished in New Zealand. Weirdly the hostel had a 'gypsy camp' of people living in tents beneath it. It's difficult to describe. For those who know what I'm talking about it was like one big long Jamie-Fest.

It was a whirlwind trip and soon enough we were on the road and heading North. On the way up we stopped at Palmerston North which is notable for pretty much nothing at all. The next day we drove to Okahuna the base town for the Tongariro Crossing. On the way up here we drove through what I presume was purgatory. A town in the middle of a powercut with nothing but shitty cafes. Okahuna was a nice little place. We celebrated our two year anniversary here with me eating so much that I was almost sick. The main event here though is of course the crossing. The most popular of the Great walks and even more popular now because it is a chance to walk across Mordor and around the base of Mount Doom. We chose a hell of a day for it. It was raining and windy obscuring the views of Mount Doom. Also the bag which I thought had my jacket in it was actually just filled with plastic bags. It was a real struggle for the first half of the walk but the terrain was just incredible. Over the course of a couple of hours it changed from flat to jagged rocks to volcanoes to blue lakes and bush. By the end we were wet and tired and far too early for our bus. We had to wait two hours for it to actually pick us up. Luckily for us our camp-site had the best showers ever with heated towel rails and a heated light.

We then carried on to Waitomo for a spot of caving. Climbing down into a dark cavern and then jumping off a waterfall backwards into a rubber ring isn't really the type of thing Nic is interested in. That's why I didn't tell her this was what we'd be doing. Still, she faced her fear. Well there wasn't much facing as we jumped in backwards. I guess she turned her back to her fear and then jumped in anyway. The main thing to take out of this confusing paragraph is that it was a whole lot of fun. Plus after we jumped in we got to float through the dark in our rubber rings admiring the glow worms. On the way out of town we stopped at the Caving museum. I almost got stuck in the Cave Experience that may have been designed for children.

Next stop on the road was Taupo the big Kiwi family Summer holiday resort town. It was a nice enough area but not a huge deal to see and it was grey the whole time we were there. We were both quite eager to move onto Rotorua. It was kind of the start of hot spring country and our camp-site had a pretty sweet natural spring to hop into. It reminded me of home.

Rotorua was maybe what we'd both been looking forward to the most on the North island and it didn't disappoint. From its eggy stench to its plethora of activities it was everything the guide book promised. The smell is of course from the thermal activity all around the area and we gravitated to this first. On the way into town we stopped at The Lady Knox Geyser and the Thermal Wonderland of strange pools. During our stay we also went to the Buried Village. An excavated recreation of an area destroyed by volcanoes. Linked to this thermal activity our camp-site not only had the required thermal pools but also a free steam oven. For seven and a half hours we steamed some chicken and vegetables and my God why don't people steam more? It was fucking incredible. Steam is the way of the future. This method of cooking stems from the Maori hangi cooking technique. As well as doing our own hangi we got to have a real one at the Tamaki Village Maori Cultural Experience. This was a kind of Disneyfied journey into a 'real' Maori village with a bit of a tongue in cheek cultural show. This was great fun but also kind of expensive. For the amount of money we paid we both felt like maybe there could have been a bit more of the culture and a little less time driving around picking people up from different hotels. Also our bus driver tried to get drunken family wedding sing songs going with people who weren't drunk or family.

Along with natural wonders and Maori culture there are plenty of tourist activities in Rotorua. We went and encountered some Kiwis at the day and night Rainbow Springs animal park. There were loads of trout too. We also went to THE AGRODOME! This was a kind of farming Disney style park complete with bizarre sheep shearing show. It started with a fat man in a vest unleashing hordes of different breads of sheep and It ended with dogs sitting on the same sheep. It was weird. The Agrodome is also the home of Zorbing. I'm not even going to bother trying to explain. Just watch this.



It's kind of like what it might be like being trapped in a washing machine but more fun.

After Rotorua we began the drive to Auckland. On the way up we had a little stop in Matamata to go to the real life Hobbiton. Though we didn't see any Hobbits it was an exciting time to be there as they've just started rebuilding the sets for The Hobbit. This ended with another sheep shearing show and bottle feeding of lambs. I don't know what relevance this had to the Rings but it was much easier to follow than the Agrodome show.

We've been in Auckland a week and a half now. Since getting here we've found a flat (sharing with another very nice couple), been involved in a Tsunami warning and been on the look out for jobs. The relaxed Kiwi attitude means getting responses to applications has been frustrating but hopefully we'll be in the workforce sooner rather than latte. Maybe the most exciting thing about being here was we got to see former Jersey bean / current Kiwi Amy. She managed to fill us in on the way this city operates and we she also gave us a lift when our car broke. Thanks Amy! We also managed to play some korfball with the Auckland Korfball Club and watch The Cribs play. Home comforts on the other side of the world. We'll be here for the next 3 months before heading down to the South Island to meet up with Mother & Father on their travels. This might mean there are both fewer and less exciting updates or it might mean I might fill you in on things like the woman I saw at the supermarket eating cat food. We do have Skype now so let us know if you fancy a chin wag. We have a webcam too so things could get sexy.

Missing you all,

Steve & Nic

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