The Josh Franco Section: We are in New Zealand. It was Christmas. There are lots of sheep.
Happy New Year! You hungover? Me too. Or I was. I just feel a bit tired now. Nic is watching Harry Potter (I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks).
So we have been in New Zealand for just over two weeks now. It hasn't been quite the National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets-esque constant excitement of Australia (But please carry on reading!). We've got a while here so we're going to take our time. Actually considering how close New Zealand is to Australia I've been surprised by how different both the place is and how different our experiences have been.
Firstly there's the weather (Come on. We're British after all). It is summer here but the weather changes several times a day here on The South Island. We've had rain, cold, wind and sun (Good name for a 70s funk band). It's just like being at home really. We've invested in a hood and I've even bought a pair of jeans. Apologies to those who enjoy salivating over my highly defined calves.
For the most part we've been based in central Christchurch at The Around The World Hostel. It is by far the nicest hostel we've stayed in. It's clean and comfortable, has a family atmosphere and free internet and Sky TV. We've done a few boring but important tasks. Bank accounts have been set-up and we've bought both a laptop and a car. If you're my Facebook friend you may have noticed a heated debate going on over the name of the car. My vote was for Battlecar Galactica edging out The Fuck Wagon. The car is actually called Trixie the 1990 White Toyota Corona. It even has room in the back to sleep in. If Trixie is a rocking don't come a knocking.
Christmas wasn't spent at the hostel. We journeyed out the city to Rangoria to stay with one of Nic's sister's friends. Annabelle, her family, their two dogs, a cat and a stable of horses welcomed us into their home for a couple of days. It was a strange experience being away from home. We had a nice day and we exchanged presents and went for a dip in the pool but it didn't quite feel like Christmas. There's the obvious stuff of missing your family and your own traditions like a revitalising hot tub after partying at Chicago the night before and your grandparents making mildly controversial comments and inevitably talking about the war but there's another layer to it. There just isn't the same kind of crazy focus on the day. This could make a nice change for some but I think Nic and I both love that craziness. I think it also may have something to do with the fact that Christmas is in Summer. It isn't a Christmas holiday so much as an event in their Summer Holiday. Still, it was awesome of the Latzes to welcome us into their home. It was less awesome of their 12 year old bulldog called Molly to start masturbating in front of us. Bad dog.
So we have the car and we have plenty of adventures planned out. I think for the rest of the day we're going to slouch around and watch films and TV (Tool Academy 2!). Oh, awesome coincidence - staying at our hostel were two fellow Lancaster graduates. Not only that but both Paul and Rachel knew plenty of people we did. Paul is back in the UK but Rachel joined us last night to make home-made Carleton fish bowls. Deadly but tasty.
Hope all is good and you all have your New Year's resolutions ready to ignore. My resolution is to hunt down Flight of the Conchords and force them to induct me as their third member. Either that or I'll hunt down Crowded House and make them do the same.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxx
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
A Tale of Three Cities
The Josh Franco Section
In Cairns there were lots of bugs and it was hot. We drank wine like on Sideways in Adelaide. In Melbourne prison a man wanked himself to death.
Did someone say photos?
Our next stop was Tropical Cairns. Though it was a little more happening than Townsville it didn't really feel like a city. Cities don't have that many souvenir stores. Also I think most places generally don't have that many mosquitos. We spent our first couple of days here mostly relaxing by the man made lagoon right in the centre of town (Jersey needs one of these). Weirdly enough we also met a fellow Jersey-ite staying at the same hostel as us (Hi Becky!). A couple of days in we set off on our final East Coast organised tour to Cape Tribulation. It was a commentary filled bus ride of extensive activities, some wildlife (including small crocodiles and a big fat weird looking bird that kills people... sometimes) and our first taste of bush grub. You'll see in the photos this involved licking ant's asses that tasted like sours. I have to say it's the tastiest ass I've ever licked. Over night we stayed in the Cape and then spent a day jungle surfing. This basically involved being strapped in to harnasses and shooting around the jungle like maniacs. It made you feel a bit like a super-hero except you could only save people in a very limited area. Zip-wire man. Not really Superman or Man Who Owns a Helicopter Man. After the jungle surfing we then headed back to Cairns and then had a couple more days of not doing a great deal in the city. As I mentioned last time my Birthday fell into these couple of days. Nic threw a little party for me by the lagoon and we wore hats and had cake and drank fizzy wine like hobos. It was wonderful. We also had ribs / steaks and went to see The Invention of Lying. It wasn't so wonderful.
Cairns was as far east as we wanted to journey. From here we flew down South to Adelaide. You've (Read 'I've') got to love a city that has three comic book shops on its main shopping street. To make a change it actually felt like a city even if it was a small one. Our hostel was a strange kind of place situated above a pub / betting office at the edge of the red light district and as far as we could tell had no one working there (The pub staff gave us our keys). Still, it was cheap and next door to a 24 hour pancake house. Whilst down South we took a day trip Wine-Tasting in the Barossa Valley. This involved boarding a bus early in the morning, visiting a couple of tourist attractions including the giant rocking horse and its bizarre wildlife enclosure (goats, kangaroos, peacocks fuck it let's stick them all in the same place) and then drinking lots of wine. I wanted to be Sideways style classy but there was no spitting the wine out and having started drinking at Jacob's Creek at 10.30am we had more than half a buzz on before midday. We also got to try Kangaroo Steak at lunch and I have to say it was really nice. Almost no fat on it.
WINE FACT: Rose wine is not made by mixing red and white wine together.
By the end of the day we had bought a couple of bottles and were struggling to taste anything. This of course led to more going out and I foolishly moved onto the beers. The next day nursing a hangover in the beautiful lake-side park a pair of hobos came and sat next to us and started yapping away. I tried to humour them so they wouldn't feel the need to stab us. One of them showed me his crack-pipe and started telling me how he always gets copper and brass in his drugs. I was like 'Yeah. I hate it when that happens.' After managing to make a getaway we headed out to the Suburbs to visit one of Nic's Sister's friends and her lovely family. After so long on the road it was nice to be in a house. Small joys.
After a freezing cold and pretty much sleepless bus journey we arrived in Melbourne.
FACT: Melbourne used to be called Batmania. Why would anyone change that?
We had a couple of days here and we spent pretty much the whole time free tramming around from attraction to attraction. It's a very happening kind of place. It reminded me a bit of Manchester even down to the fact it rained half the time. Highlights included the ACMI (I am Neo (Click Here)), The Sports Museum and the Old Melbourne Gaol. This had an exhibit where you could experience the feeling of being arrested and a small info board on a prisoner who masturbated himself to death. Fatal wanking accident.
From Melbourne it was then one final bus ride and back to where we started - Sydney! We spent the weekend with another of Nic's sisters friends staying with them in beautiful beach side Manly (I like staying in places whose names describe me). We went to a beach party one day and then spent the next day recovering from the same party. I'm now typing this in the same hostel as we stayed in when we arrived. Jonny is arriving in a couple of hours and then we have two days before New Zealand.
Hopefully all is good at home and Christmas preparations are in full swing. It doesn't feel at all like the festive season here although some people are trying. We'll see how we feel closer to the time.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxx
In Cairns there were lots of bugs and it was hot. We drank wine like on Sideways in Adelaide. In Melbourne prison a man wanked himself to death.
Did someone say photos?
Our next stop was Tropical Cairns. Though it was a little more happening than Townsville it didn't really feel like a city. Cities don't have that many souvenir stores. Also I think most places generally don't have that many mosquitos. We spent our first couple of days here mostly relaxing by the man made lagoon right in the centre of town (Jersey needs one of these). Weirdly enough we also met a fellow Jersey-ite staying at the same hostel as us (Hi Becky!). A couple of days in we set off on our final East Coast organised tour to Cape Tribulation. It was a commentary filled bus ride of extensive activities, some wildlife (including small crocodiles and a big fat weird looking bird that kills people... sometimes) and our first taste of bush grub. You'll see in the photos this involved licking ant's asses that tasted like sours. I have to say it's the tastiest ass I've ever licked. Over night we stayed in the Cape and then spent a day jungle surfing. This basically involved being strapped in to harnasses and shooting around the jungle like maniacs. It made you feel a bit like a super-hero except you could only save people in a very limited area. Zip-wire man. Not really Superman or Man Who Owns a Helicopter Man. After the jungle surfing we then headed back to Cairns and then had a couple more days of not doing a great deal in the city. As I mentioned last time my Birthday fell into these couple of days. Nic threw a little party for me by the lagoon and we wore hats and had cake and drank fizzy wine like hobos. It was wonderful. We also had ribs / steaks and went to see The Invention of Lying. It wasn't so wonderful.
Cairns was as far east as we wanted to journey. From here we flew down South to Adelaide. You've (Read 'I've') got to love a city that has three comic book shops on its main shopping street. To make a change it actually felt like a city even if it was a small one. Our hostel was a strange kind of place situated above a pub / betting office at the edge of the red light district and as far as we could tell had no one working there (The pub staff gave us our keys). Still, it was cheap and next door to a 24 hour pancake house. Whilst down South we took a day trip Wine-Tasting in the Barossa Valley. This involved boarding a bus early in the morning, visiting a couple of tourist attractions including the giant rocking horse and its bizarre wildlife enclosure (goats, kangaroos, peacocks fuck it let's stick them all in the same place) and then drinking lots of wine. I wanted to be Sideways style classy but there was no spitting the wine out and having started drinking at Jacob's Creek at 10.30am we had more than half a buzz on before midday. We also got to try Kangaroo Steak at lunch and I have to say it was really nice. Almost no fat on it.
WINE FACT: Rose wine is not made by mixing red and white wine together.
By the end of the day we had bought a couple of bottles and were struggling to taste anything. This of course led to more going out and I foolishly moved onto the beers. The next day nursing a hangover in the beautiful lake-side park a pair of hobos came and sat next to us and started yapping away. I tried to humour them so they wouldn't feel the need to stab us. One of them showed me his crack-pipe and started telling me how he always gets copper and brass in his drugs. I was like 'Yeah. I hate it when that happens.' After managing to make a getaway we headed out to the Suburbs to visit one of Nic's Sister's friends and her lovely family. After so long on the road it was nice to be in a house. Small joys.
After a freezing cold and pretty much sleepless bus journey we arrived in Melbourne.
FACT: Melbourne used to be called Batmania. Why would anyone change that?
We had a couple of days here and we spent pretty much the whole time free tramming around from attraction to attraction. It's a very happening kind of place. It reminded me a bit of Manchester even down to the fact it rained half the time. Highlights included the ACMI (I am Neo (Click Here)), The Sports Museum and the Old Melbourne Gaol. This had an exhibit where you could experience the feeling of being arrested and a small info board on a prisoner who masturbated himself to death. Fatal wanking accident.
From Melbourne it was then one final bus ride and back to where we started - Sydney! We spent the weekend with another of Nic's sisters friends staying with them in beautiful beach side Manly (I like staying in places whose names describe me). We went to a beach party one day and then spent the next day recovering from the same party. I'm now typing this in the same hostel as we stayed in when we arrived. Jonny is arriving in a couple of hours and then we have two days before New Zealand.
Hopefully all is good at home and Christmas preparations are in full swing. It doesn't feel at all like the festive season here although some people are trying. We'll see how we feel closer to the time.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxx
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