The Josh Franco Section: We are in New Zealand. It was Christmas. There are lots of sheep.
Happy New Year! You hungover? Me too. Or I was. I just feel a bit tired now. Nic is watching Harry Potter (I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks).
So we have been in New Zealand for just over two weeks now. It hasn't been quite the National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets-esque constant excitement of Australia (But please carry on reading!). We've got a while here so we're going to take our time. Actually considering how close New Zealand is to Australia I've been surprised by how different both the place is and how different our experiences have been.
Firstly there's the weather (Come on. We're British after all). It is summer here but the weather changes several times a day here on The South Island. We've had rain, cold, wind and sun (Good name for a 70s funk band). It's just like being at home really. We've invested in a hood and I've even bought a pair of jeans. Apologies to those who enjoy salivating over my highly defined calves.
For the most part we've been based in central Christchurch at The Around The World Hostel. It is by far the nicest hostel we've stayed in. It's clean and comfortable, has a family atmosphere and free internet and Sky TV. We've done a few boring but important tasks. Bank accounts have been set-up and we've bought both a laptop and a car. If you're my Facebook friend you may have noticed a heated debate going on over the name of the car. My vote was for Battlecar Galactica edging out The Fuck Wagon. The car is actually called Trixie the 1990 White Toyota Corona. It even has room in the back to sleep in. If Trixie is a rocking don't come a knocking.
Christmas wasn't spent at the hostel. We journeyed out the city to Rangoria to stay with one of Nic's sister's friends. Annabelle, her family, their two dogs, a cat and a stable of horses welcomed us into their home for a couple of days. It was a strange experience being away from home. We had a nice day and we exchanged presents and went for a dip in the pool but it didn't quite feel like Christmas. There's the obvious stuff of missing your family and your own traditions like a revitalising hot tub after partying at Chicago the night before and your grandparents making mildly controversial comments and inevitably talking about the war but there's another layer to it. There just isn't the same kind of crazy focus on the day. This could make a nice change for some but I think Nic and I both love that craziness. I think it also may have something to do with the fact that Christmas is in Summer. It isn't a Christmas holiday so much as an event in their Summer Holiday. Still, it was awesome of the Latzes to welcome us into their home. It was less awesome of their 12 year old bulldog called Molly to start masturbating in front of us. Bad dog.
So we have the car and we have plenty of adventures planned out. I think for the rest of the day we're going to slouch around and watch films and TV (Tool Academy 2!). Oh, awesome coincidence - staying at our hostel were two fellow Lancaster graduates. Not only that but both Paul and Rachel knew plenty of people we did. Paul is back in the UK but Rachel joined us last night to make home-made Carleton fish bowls. Deadly but tasty.
Hope all is good and you all have your New Year's resolutions ready to ignore. My resolution is to hunt down Flight of the Conchords and force them to induct me as their third member. Either that or I'll hunt down Crowded House and make them do the same.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxx
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
A Tale of Three Cities
The Josh Franco Section
In Cairns there were lots of bugs and it was hot. We drank wine like on Sideways in Adelaide. In Melbourne prison a man wanked himself to death.
Did someone say photos?
Our next stop was Tropical Cairns. Though it was a little more happening than Townsville it didn't really feel like a city. Cities don't have that many souvenir stores. Also I think most places generally don't have that many mosquitos. We spent our first couple of days here mostly relaxing by the man made lagoon right in the centre of town (Jersey needs one of these). Weirdly enough we also met a fellow Jersey-ite staying at the same hostel as us (Hi Becky!). A couple of days in we set off on our final East Coast organised tour to Cape Tribulation. It was a commentary filled bus ride of extensive activities, some wildlife (including small crocodiles and a big fat weird looking bird that kills people... sometimes) and our first taste of bush grub. You'll see in the photos this involved licking ant's asses that tasted like sours. I have to say it's the tastiest ass I've ever licked. Over night we stayed in the Cape and then spent a day jungle surfing. This basically involved being strapped in to harnasses and shooting around the jungle like maniacs. It made you feel a bit like a super-hero except you could only save people in a very limited area. Zip-wire man. Not really Superman or Man Who Owns a Helicopter Man. After the jungle surfing we then headed back to Cairns and then had a couple more days of not doing a great deal in the city. As I mentioned last time my Birthday fell into these couple of days. Nic threw a little party for me by the lagoon and we wore hats and had cake and drank fizzy wine like hobos. It was wonderful. We also had ribs / steaks and went to see The Invention of Lying. It wasn't so wonderful.
Cairns was as far east as we wanted to journey. From here we flew down South to Adelaide. You've (Read 'I've') got to love a city that has three comic book shops on its main shopping street. To make a change it actually felt like a city even if it was a small one. Our hostel was a strange kind of place situated above a pub / betting office at the edge of the red light district and as far as we could tell had no one working there (The pub staff gave us our keys). Still, it was cheap and next door to a 24 hour pancake house. Whilst down South we took a day trip Wine-Tasting in the Barossa Valley. This involved boarding a bus early in the morning, visiting a couple of tourist attractions including the giant rocking horse and its bizarre wildlife enclosure (goats, kangaroos, peacocks fuck it let's stick them all in the same place) and then drinking lots of wine. I wanted to be Sideways style classy but there was no spitting the wine out and having started drinking at Jacob's Creek at 10.30am we had more than half a buzz on before midday. We also got to try Kangaroo Steak at lunch and I have to say it was really nice. Almost no fat on it.
WINE FACT: Rose wine is not made by mixing red and white wine together.
By the end of the day we had bought a couple of bottles and were struggling to taste anything. This of course led to more going out and I foolishly moved onto the beers. The next day nursing a hangover in the beautiful lake-side park a pair of hobos came and sat next to us and started yapping away. I tried to humour them so they wouldn't feel the need to stab us. One of them showed me his crack-pipe and started telling me how he always gets copper and brass in his drugs. I was like 'Yeah. I hate it when that happens.' After managing to make a getaway we headed out to the Suburbs to visit one of Nic's Sister's friends and her lovely family. After so long on the road it was nice to be in a house. Small joys.
After a freezing cold and pretty much sleepless bus journey we arrived in Melbourne.
FACT: Melbourne used to be called Batmania. Why would anyone change that?
We had a couple of days here and we spent pretty much the whole time free tramming around from attraction to attraction. It's a very happening kind of place. It reminded me a bit of Manchester even down to the fact it rained half the time. Highlights included the ACMI (I am Neo (Click Here)), The Sports Museum and the Old Melbourne Gaol. This had an exhibit where you could experience the feeling of being arrested and a small info board on a prisoner who masturbated himself to death. Fatal wanking accident.
From Melbourne it was then one final bus ride and back to where we started - Sydney! We spent the weekend with another of Nic's sisters friends staying with them in beautiful beach side Manly (I like staying in places whose names describe me). We went to a beach party one day and then spent the next day recovering from the same party. I'm now typing this in the same hostel as we stayed in when we arrived. Jonny is arriving in a couple of hours and then we have two days before New Zealand.
Hopefully all is good at home and Christmas preparations are in full swing. It doesn't feel at all like the festive season here although some people are trying. We'll see how we feel closer to the time.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxx
In Cairns there were lots of bugs and it was hot. We drank wine like on Sideways in Adelaide. In Melbourne prison a man wanked himself to death.
Did someone say photos?
Our next stop was Tropical Cairns. Though it was a little more happening than Townsville it didn't really feel like a city. Cities don't have that many souvenir stores. Also I think most places generally don't have that many mosquitos. We spent our first couple of days here mostly relaxing by the man made lagoon right in the centre of town (Jersey needs one of these). Weirdly enough we also met a fellow Jersey-ite staying at the same hostel as us (Hi Becky!). A couple of days in we set off on our final East Coast organised tour to Cape Tribulation. It was a commentary filled bus ride of extensive activities, some wildlife (including small crocodiles and a big fat weird looking bird that kills people... sometimes) and our first taste of bush grub. You'll see in the photos this involved licking ant's asses that tasted like sours. I have to say it's the tastiest ass I've ever licked. Over night we stayed in the Cape and then spent a day jungle surfing. This basically involved being strapped in to harnasses and shooting around the jungle like maniacs. It made you feel a bit like a super-hero except you could only save people in a very limited area. Zip-wire man. Not really Superman or Man Who Owns a Helicopter Man. After the jungle surfing we then headed back to Cairns and then had a couple more days of not doing a great deal in the city. As I mentioned last time my Birthday fell into these couple of days. Nic threw a little party for me by the lagoon and we wore hats and had cake and drank fizzy wine like hobos. It was wonderful. We also had ribs / steaks and went to see The Invention of Lying. It wasn't so wonderful.
Cairns was as far east as we wanted to journey. From here we flew down South to Adelaide. You've (Read 'I've') got to love a city that has three comic book shops on its main shopping street. To make a change it actually felt like a city even if it was a small one. Our hostel was a strange kind of place situated above a pub / betting office at the edge of the red light district and as far as we could tell had no one working there (The pub staff gave us our keys). Still, it was cheap and next door to a 24 hour pancake house. Whilst down South we took a day trip Wine-Tasting in the Barossa Valley. This involved boarding a bus early in the morning, visiting a couple of tourist attractions including the giant rocking horse and its bizarre wildlife enclosure (goats, kangaroos, peacocks fuck it let's stick them all in the same place) and then drinking lots of wine. I wanted to be Sideways style classy but there was no spitting the wine out and having started drinking at Jacob's Creek at 10.30am we had more than half a buzz on before midday. We also got to try Kangaroo Steak at lunch and I have to say it was really nice. Almost no fat on it.
WINE FACT: Rose wine is not made by mixing red and white wine together.
By the end of the day we had bought a couple of bottles and were struggling to taste anything. This of course led to more going out and I foolishly moved onto the beers. The next day nursing a hangover in the beautiful lake-side park a pair of hobos came and sat next to us and started yapping away. I tried to humour them so they wouldn't feel the need to stab us. One of them showed me his crack-pipe and started telling me how he always gets copper and brass in his drugs. I was like 'Yeah. I hate it when that happens.' After managing to make a getaway we headed out to the Suburbs to visit one of Nic's Sister's friends and her lovely family. After so long on the road it was nice to be in a house. Small joys.
After a freezing cold and pretty much sleepless bus journey we arrived in Melbourne.
FACT: Melbourne used to be called Batmania. Why would anyone change that?
We had a couple of days here and we spent pretty much the whole time free tramming around from attraction to attraction. It's a very happening kind of place. It reminded me a bit of Manchester even down to the fact it rained half the time. Highlights included the ACMI (I am Neo (Click Here)), The Sports Museum and the Old Melbourne Gaol. This had an exhibit where you could experience the feeling of being arrested and a small info board on a prisoner who masturbated himself to death. Fatal wanking accident.
From Melbourne it was then one final bus ride and back to where we started - Sydney! We spent the weekend with another of Nic's sisters friends staying with them in beautiful beach side Manly (I like staying in places whose names describe me). We went to a beach party one day and then spent the next day recovering from the same party. I'm now typing this in the same hostel as we stayed in when we arrived. Jonny is arriving in a couple of hours and then we have two days before New Zealand.
Hopefully all is good at home and Christmas preparations are in full swing. It doesn't feel at all like the festive season here although some people are trying. We'll see how we feel closer to the time.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxx
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
On Some Islands In The Sun
The Josh Franco Section
We went canoeing. We went to a sand island. We were on a boat.
Photos! Don't we spoil you? Look at them now or even in conjunction with the words you're reading!
And we're back. How's it going internet? Last time we left you we were in the fine city of Brisbane and boy howdy has a lot gone down since then. The following section is the 'tours' part of our trip. All booked through Wicked Travel we worked our way up the East Coast on Greyhounds going from activity to activity. Tiring but fun times. So what am I waiting for? Type on.
So after Brisbane we took our first Greyhound up to Noosa. Greyhounds are great for making brief visits to hick petrol stations (at one we were served by a one eyed man called Bill and a young man called Junior), eating shit food and watching shit films (To be fair we've only been on one that showed films and they chose Phil Scullion favourite 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging'). Noosa was a cool little surf town. We didn't do a great deal here but prepare for our hectic trip schedule. I did buy some sunglasses many weeks after they first would have been useful.
From Noosa Bus Station we were picked up for our FREE TRIP at the Gagaju Bush Camp. Advertised as an eco camping, canoe safari it gave meaning to the phrase 'you get what you pay for'. But Steve you didn't pay anything? For this free trip you actually pay 50$ 'National Park Fees'. For your 'park fee' you get a mini bus ride out to the wilderness (basically a camp site where you get a dorm one night and tent for the other two), canoe rental, a 4 minute canoe lesson and a grouchy weird Australian man who openly admits to sleeping with his dog pointing at a map and telling you where you should go and rattling off crazy and probably entirely fictional stories of things that could go wrong if you disobey his commands. No map though. The first day our intrepid group of English, German, French, Scandinavian and Israeli strapping young things canoed up river where we parked up our canoes and walked to a nearly deserted soft sand beach. The second day our much more difficult canoe slog across rough waters as a bush fire raged on at the side of the lake led us to a shop and a pub. Canoeing is really, really tiring and we were hoping for something a little more spectacular for our efforts. That night we went back and played Ring of Fire and just got really hammered. Due to brain cells killed in this game I think I may have actually returned from the Eco Camp with less knowledge about the environment. We had fun but even though it was free what was provided by the staff was still a disappointment. I was expecting Eco Warriors and Ray Mears like Jungle Masters rather than grizzled drunks who just liked living outside of society because they didn't have the graces for living within it. Still, we had some laughs and I guess that's the main thing.
After the Bush Camp it was back to Noosa for a rest day and then back on the bus to Hervey Bay. We stayed a night here in preparation for Fraser Island. Fraser is the world's largest sand island and we chose to explore it on a self-drive 4x4 safari. This is pretty much exactly how it sounds. You're put with a group, crammed into a 4x4, ferried across to the island and then left to your own devices (with a helpful itinerary to guide you) to navigate the extremely difficult sand roads including the East Beach which is classified as a highway with an 80km p/h Speed limit (Nic had a go behind the wheel!). You carry tents and camping equipment with you and when the tide goes too high to drive on the highway you have to settle down for the night. To make things even more interesting there is a massive number of dingoes (basically dogs) roaming the island constantly on the lookout for food. On our first night we didn't see many although one disturbed the people trying to sleep under the stars by attempting to steal a rucksack. He was thwarted by loud noise. On the second night our larger camp was basically filled with them popping in and out. The educational video suggested crossing your arms and slowly backing away. We were alright with just letting them lick the pots and pans. Because you're in close proximity with the same people for pretty much 60 odd hours straight it was even more important here that we got on with everyone. Luckily we did. Shout out to Jez, Chez, Maddy, Danielle, Nick, Nicki (A different one!), Sussana, Katie and Hannah. The highlights of the trip were the Champagne Pools (rock enclaves filled in with sea water washed in from breaking waves), Lake Wobby (A huge green lake that you get to by running down a giant sand dune) and Lake McKenzie which has waters so clear that you have to see it to believe it. It's Freshwater so you can even drink it. We were there about 2 hours and I spent the entire time in the water it was so nice. See the photos! The whole island was an adventure from cooking in the dark to losing a flip-flop pushing the car out of one of the numerous deep sand traps it fell into. I would say it's my favourite place we've been in Australia and maybe since we started out travelling.
After Fraser we had a night back in Hervey Bay where we said goodbye to our new friends. The next day was spent pottering around this sleepy little town and then we had our first overnight Greyhound. Kind of like the day Greyhound except the stops seem even more surreal. We both slept better than I'd have expected. Getting off the bus we had to immediately check-in for our Whitsundays sailing trip. I'm on a boat and it's going fast and I've got a nautical themed pashmina Afghan. We got in at 7 and our Catamaran the mighty Avatar departed at 11.30am. Luckily the sea was incredibly smooth and after warnings of sea-sickness we were perfectly fine the whole time. The ship was nice and roomy with plenty of room for the 25 guests and 3 members of staff. Nic and I even had a private cabin which was sized like a couples coffin. For 2 days and 2 nights we sailed in perfect sunshine (except at night) and almost no wind (It was HOT) through the islands stopping only for a snorkel on The Great Barrier Reef and to relax on the whiter than white sands of the islands. We saw a huge amount of sea-life including Stingwrays and Reef Sharks. To make matters more awesome we had to wear special lycra Stinger suits which made us look like bizarre sexy Teletubbies when we were Snorkelling. On the boat we also enjoyed some pretty fine eating and not so fine (goon - cask wine) drinking. The last night was a wild night partying on a nearly deserted resort with salt water swimming pool which we had to dingy over to. Here we met some mining millionaires who struggled to persuade us hot young things to come to a Birthday party on their yacht. The only problem was they were too drunk to pilot their own dingy. As far as I know they're still there.
We got off the boat about 10am on the third day and had a couple of hours to kill in Airlie Beach before Greyhounding to Townsville (Confusingly a city). From here we got off the bus and with massive backpacks in tow jumped into a taxi and zoomed to The Dairy Farmers Stadium to watch the mighty North Queensland Fury in action. We got there with literally minutes to spare but we were soon joining the over 7 and a half thousand fans in cheering on the Fury. Despite having the legendary Robbie Fowler as their captain The Fury struggled. Robbie rattled the crossbar once but the rock bottom Fury limped to a 5-1 defeat to Central Coast. It was good to see Robbie though even if he is basically in retirement.
We then jumped onto a bus and arrived at The Reef Lodge Hostel absolutely exhausted. We then had a day in Townsville before the next adventure. Townsville is a great place to relax on a Sunday because literally nothing is open. Monday morning we were on the ferry and off to Magnetic Island. This small island is basically a couple of bays around a National Park and connected by one long road. We went on walks, to the beaches and rented a Topless Car. With this miniature beast we rolled around the island ripping it up old school style. To be honest the beaches are all very similar but the wildlife here is the real attraction. On our walks we saw Koalas (including a baby one - they make kittens look like shit), there were cheeky Possums bouncing around our hostel and at dusk we went to join the feeding of Rock Wallabies. After dropping off the Topless-mobile we returned on the ferry this morning and this afternoon we're in Townsville before getting an early bus to Cairns tomorrow.
Even with the speed at which we've been bouncing around things there's still loads of towns / things we haven't had time to do. The East Coast has pretty much got it all. We've now got about a week or so in Cairns and one more trip to Cape Tribulation and then it's back South for the final leg of the journey before New Zealand. It's gone so fast that I almost forgot it's my Birthday on Monday. It is my Birthday on Monday though. So don't forget. My Birthday on Monday. Also, Happy Birthday to Zoe, Jamie and H-Bomb for this week and anyone else we've forgotten. It isn't because we don't love you but just because we've been THIS busy.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxxx
Saturday, 7 November 2009
G'Day
The Josh Franco Section
We are in Australia. This is where Neighbours happens. I met Batman.
First
Photos!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
G'Day sports its been longer than a kangaroos tail since the last time I was in touch but we've been busy, busy, busy here in the land of Oz.
So we arrived in Sydney two weeks ago now. It was a bit like returning to Earth after a short trip on another planet. Everything seemed the same but there were subtle differences that were kind of disconcerting (Damn you dirty apes!). The first day was spent basically fighting off exhaustion from the travelling and the time zone changes but soon enough we were back on our feet and seeing the sights. Sydney is a vibrant and happening kind of place and if you want to see it all you can't spend all day lying in bed with the 26 other people (and their occassional sexual partners) that you share your bedroom with. Yep we're in dorms now another big change from SE Asia. For our first few days in Sydney we did all the usual tourist stuff. Yes everybody does it but that's because it's brilliant. We checked off Sydney Zoo, The Opera House, Sydney Aquarium, more than a couple of museums, The World's Biggest Screen at The I-Max as well as walking across The Harbour Bridge. Because they're so famous all these sights seem strangely familiar when you first look at them but it doesn't make them any less impressive. After the near constant sunshine of Thailand and Bali we were also reminded that there are different types of weather. Here we experienced both rain and cold. We had pretty much forgotten how to cope with these things as was made evident by me struggling to walk around in my flippy floppies.
Hermit Crab Racing - Buy a crab, give it a name and then let it race. We partook in this extremely strange and incredibly fun sport at the Friend in Hand pub just outside the city centre. Nic's crab was called Mrs Crab Apple (Simpsons Quote - Bonus Points) and mine was Crabio Aurelio. As well as crab racing there was hula hoop competitions, balloon blowing up comps (Nic came 2nd) and the near constant spraying of guests with a garden hose. Nic's decision to wear a white t-shirt did not prove to be a good one. Still, after Crabio failing in the first heat (If he's anything like his namesake probably due to injury) Mrs C managed to scrape through to the final. Here she turned on the heat and managed to win Nic a free t-shirt by coming in 2nd Place. Mrs Crab Apple we salute you - a true hermit crab champion.
After crab racing we hopped on the train and headed out of the city centre toward the blue mountains. Despite having nothing to do with the great pop champions Blue this was again a really nice change of pace. We stayed in the town of Katoomba which is made up almost entirely of cafes and 2nd hand book shops. From this base we enjoyed the fresh mountain air and set about exploring the area on a hop on hop off tram trolley. We went for Devonshire Tea in a tea room with the world's largest collection of tea pots and a controversially large number of Gollywogs, went on a few walks and enjoyed the views from the clifftops overlooking a valley of rainforests. We also went on the Scenic train which has the world's largest incline for a railway (52 degrees) which was actually kind of exciting if short. This took us down to the rainforests where we again went for a walk and explore. The evenings were spent by the fire in the cosy front room that doubled as the guest common area. For Halloween we went to The Edge cinema to see The Box. Not only a great film but we even got a free large popcorn I think because the girl behind the counter was hot for me.
After the mountains it was back on the train (actually a rail replacement bus) and back to Sydney. Instead of staying in the centre this time we stayed in King's Cross which is pretty famous as home of a number of hostels and the city's red light district. There were a couple of gentlemen's clubs and many hungry hungry hobos but the area didn't seem all that bad. I had one strange confrontation as a man approached me in McDonalds:
Hobo - Guess what I hold the World Record for? Go on. Guess. I bet you won't get it.
Me - No idea.
Hobo - Cutting.
At this point I was preparing to be stabbed. It turned out he was (apparently) the Guiness World Record holder for cutting down sugar cane. From the look of him it didn't pay well. He also informed me he boned the 1973 Miss World a year before she won the title and was close personal friends with Ali. He did have some newspaper clippings to prove his claims but nothing to show the man mentioned in the clippings was him. Yes he was probably just a nut job wanting attention but I like to think he truly was a real life Forrest Gump. With our couple of days in Sydney we went to a few of the museums and galleries we missed the first time around. We also went on a day trip to Bondi Beach. To be honest we weren't sure what the fuss was about. It's just Brelades with jellyfish. Back in the city we also did some serious prep work for the East coast section of our trip booking with a guy at Wicked Travel who weirdly knew three people from Jersey I know (James Prendergast, Stef Downey and Joe McKenna if you're interested).
From Sydney we flew to the Gold Coast and then got the bus to Surfer's Paradise. We went to the beach (again not sure what the big deal is) but here we were mainly basing ourselves for some theme parking. First was Warner Brothers Movie World. There weren't a huge number of rides but the ones they had were of the highest quality. Superman - The Escape left me shaking the first two times on it (4.2 positive Gs and 1 negative G if that means anything to you). I also got my photo taken with Batman and The Flash and these will be appearing as my profile picture soon I can assure you. We also went to Wet & Wild which was certainly wet as it rained most of the day. This didn't matter though as it kept people away from the park and the queues for the rides nice and short. Our favourites were the kind of drop in tubes involving building up momentum and rolling up and down ramps before coming to a stop.
Whilst having lunch on our first day in Surfers we were approached by a couple of babes in gold bikinis. Of course this is a very common occurence for me but usually they don't ask me for money. These girls were called the Meter Maids and they spend their days going around collecting money and using it to fill parking meters to stop people getting tickets. They're basically super-heroes. Some day I will get a golden thong and do the same in Jersey.
After Surfers we got the bus and then the train to Brisbane. Here we had a day and a half to explore the city. On the Saturday we had a casual couple of drinks in the bar which after meeting some nice Irish people descended into Soulja Boy dancing at 3am in some random club. In case you were wondering I've still got it.
We are now in Noosa and preparing to hit a Bush Camp where I will surely become even more Ray Mears like, drive 4x4s on Australia's largest sand island and head to The Great Barrier Reef.
Missing you,
Steve & Nicki
xxxx
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Mountains & Monkeys
The Josh Franco Section
We saw monkeys. We climbed a mountain. We went swimming.
Gulungan not Gulungu. Gulungan. I think Gulungu may have been some kind of Football Manager youth player destined for mediocrity. Apologies for insulting your sacred holiday with my bad spelling Bali.
Previously - We'd just arrived in the town of Ubud. Famous for its arts and crafts.
And Now....
Gulungan was a nice time to stay in Ubud. The fact it is such a big thing meant the pace of life was slowed down to accommodate festivities and there weren't quite as many people trying to push souvenirs as there might have been. We saw some traditional Balinese dance which involved lots of staring eyes and weird hand movement. Some of the moves I'll incorporate into my repertoire. We also tried to go on a hike but because the guide book we were going on was 4 years out of date it turns out the walk has been developed into some type of restaurant / museum. Sigh. The highlight of our stay was definitely the Monkey Forest. Unlike, Koh Phi Phi's Monkey Cove there were actually a stupid amount of monkeys running around completely wild. We spent about 2 hours there and during the time saw a monkey steal and eat a box of matches, two monkeys having wild monkey sex and best of all a monkey pick pocket a man of a 100,000 Rp note. You weren't allowed to touch the monkeys but they were allowed to touch you. Nic had two on her head and one on her lap which of course she loved. I thought for a minute we were going to end up with a comedy monkey sidekick. Sadly not.
After Ubud we set out toward the mountains to the town of Toyah Bungkuh. Helpfully the bus company dropped us nowhere near the town at the top of a hill. After teaming up with some nerdy American girls we managed to get a bus down but not before a gang of middle aged women singled me out for some serious Sarong pushing. The town itself was kind of creepy like the type of place the gang would go to investigate a mystery in Scooby Doo. However, it is the base for people trekking up Mount Batur so we found a fleebag motel and prepared ourselves for some physical activity with a dip in the healing hot spas. Night-time was weird it's the first place we've felt cold because of the once again creepy mists that roll in over the lake. The climb itself involved a wake-up at 3.30am for a 4am start. I psyched myself up by listening to Fightstar. Nic psyched herself up by mocking me. The guide rated the trek as moderate and going through the forests at the bottom it was pretty moderate. Then we reached the mountain (which is an active volcano) it wasn't moderate anymore. The climb was quite vertical and the paths where all gravel and stone meaning it was difficult to get a footing. Still we pushed on and although we both felt a little like vomiting we reached the top in about an hour and a half. The sunrise was an incredible sight and worth the near sickness. Because the volcano is still active the guides cooked our breakfasts on the rocks. I should also mention Nic and I wore fetching matching fleeces. The climb down was similarily difficult because of the paths but it took about the same as the climb up. At the bottom we wanted to get out of Ghost Town as quickly as possible. This proved difficult as the people of Toyah Bungkuh seemed to have formed a pact to merk people who come to their town by making getting out extremely expensive. 150,000 was the price quoted for just getting up the hill and 600,000 to our destination of Lovina. Luckily one beautiful soul took pity on us and flagged down a truck which we got on the back of. This got us to the top of the hill where a local gangster took a liking to me and pushed his private taxi service. We didn't want to pay his extortionate prices so we continually refused which he took as bartering. When we continued to refuse he got a bit aggressive so we walked away. 5 minutes later he flagged down a cheap public bus for us. I think maybe he was testing us and we passed. After one more bus and an incident involving a basically asleep Nic nearly freaking out as she had no idea where she was (I didn't help) we made it to Lovina for 180,000 Rp total. We were very proud of ourselves.
In Lovina we enjoyed a bit of luxury (hotel with a swimming pool) and some great cheap food. We tried going down the beach but it is low season now and we were absolutely mobbed by people selling various shit and begging us for our business for such diverse things as dolphin trips and coconut oil. We also helped a class of children with conversational English. I felt good until their teacher tried to sell us a tour. Most of the time was spent just relaxing and planning the next stage (Oz) in more detail.
We are now in Kuta and fly out to Sydney tonight. It's a lot busier here and the beach is great with perfect sets of waves rolling in at a steady pace. Yesterday we went to the Waterbom water park which had a great variety of slides. We were almost first through the door so we got on everything before most people arrived. There was one incident where we maybe pushed it a little far and flipped our tube in a dark tunnel but Nic got an ice pack for her injury and we're good if a little sore today. In many ways she is a hero for braking my fall.
Today we're just milling about by the beach and trying to score a few last minute bargains. To be honest I'm quite excited about going back to the Western world. I've developed a sort of sense of dread when anyone talks to me here just waiting for them to reveal exactly what it is they want to sell to me. The other day I even thought Nic was going to try and sell me something or other. I think a set price economy will help my fragile psyche.
Missing you,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxx
Monday, 12 October 2009
You Better Balieve It
The Josh Franco Section
We are in Bali. Bali is an island. You live on an island.
I took a while debating which title to use for this blog 'Balieve it Or Not' came a close 2nd but I thought the one I chose was more threatening which is always good.
So we are on the Indonesian island of Bali. So far our stay has been very pleasant. There have been things we've had to get used to such as breakfast serving ladies and pretty much everyone else in every profession trying to push a relatives transport firm on us and bartering for pretty much everything including hotel room prices but I think we're settled into the flow of things now. The culture seems quite similar to Thailand and once again everyone has been friendly and very helpful (especially with suggestions for transport).
We started off in the beach side resort of Sanur and spent a couple of days lazing on the beach. Our first hotel let us down slightly by allowing a Balinese band to practice outside our room every hour of the day and night and failed to inform us of their rooftop pool but we soon found a better place at a better price. They told us about their pool too.
From here we bussed it through rice paddies and small villages to the town of Padang Bai. Much smaller than Sanur it was basically one seaside street. Over our two and a bit days here we again gravitated toward the beaches. There are some great hidden beaches here - one we had to climb through a construction site to get to. Still it was worth these little treks to find these nearly deserted cubby holes of sand, rocks, waves and old women with hard-ons for coconuts and pineapples. We also had an incident with our first hotel here. I say incident but the right word would be infestation. The head board of our mattress was filled with tiny bugs that crawled and squirmed their way onto our bed. To make matters worse there was no staff around so I had to wake the kiwi owners on any door I could find. Needless to say we only spent one night here (Nic is still slightly traumatised) and went on to find better accomodation. The place we stayed last night was a restaurant with deck filled with comfy chairs and hammocks surrounded by rooms and with views looking out to the sea. Nic loved the place as it fulfilled a childhood dream of living in a treehouse and I think it's set the standard for places to come. Basically we're going to try and get wood.
We are now in Ubud which is a small-ish town away from the sea and the base for arts and culture in the island. Galleries are everywhere as well as a giant market selling pretty much every type of small wooden sculpture you could imagine. We've planned some walks as well as a visit to the Monkey Forest for the coming days. Excitingly it is also Gulungu (The Balinese equivalent of Christmas - Something to do with goods victory over Evil). The main celebration is tomorrow and the streets are adorned with palm leaf weaving and small basket offerings to the spirits. I guess that makes today Gulungu Eve so Happy Gulungu everyone!
Missing You,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxx
We are in Bali. Bali is an island. You live on an island.
I took a while debating which title to use for this blog 'Balieve it Or Not' came a close 2nd but I thought the one I chose was more threatening which is always good.
So we are on the Indonesian island of Bali. So far our stay has been very pleasant. There have been things we've had to get used to such as breakfast serving ladies and pretty much everyone else in every profession trying to push a relatives transport firm on us and bartering for pretty much everything including hotel room prices but I think we're settled into the flow of things now. The culture seems quite similar to Thailand and once again everyone has been friendly and very helpful (especially with suggestions for transport).
We started off in the beach side resort of Sanur and spent a couple of days lazing on the beach. Our first hotel let us down slightly by allowing a Balinese band to practice outside our room every hour of the day and night and failed to inform us of their rooftop pool but we soon found a better place at a better price. They told us about their pool too.
From here we bussed it through rice paddies and small villages to the town of Padang Bai. Much smaller than Sanur it was basically one seaside street. Over our two and a bit days here we again gravitated toward the beaches. There are some great hidden beaches here - one we had to climb through a construction site to get to. Still it was worth these little treks to find these nearly deserted cubby holes of sand, rocks, waves and old women with hard-ons for coconuts and pineapples. We also had an incident with our first hotel here. I say incident but the right word would be infestation. The head board of our mattress was filled with tiny bugs that crawled and squirmed their way onto our bed. To make matters worse there was no staff around so I had to wake the kiwi owners on any door I could find. Needless to say we only spent one night here (Nic is still slightly traumatised) and went on to find better accomodation. The place we stayed last night was a restaurant with deck filled with comfy chairs and hammocks surrounded by rooms and with views looking out to the sea. Nic loved the place as it fulfilled a childhood dream of living in a treehouse and I think it's set the standard for places to come. Basically we're going to try and get wood.
We are now in Ubud which is a small-ish town away from the sea and the base for arts and culture in the island. Galleries are everywhere as well as a giant market selling pretty much every type of small wooden sculpture you could imagine. We've planned some walks as well as a visit to the Monkey Forest for the coming days. Excitingly it is also Gulungu (The Balinese equivalent of Christmas - Something to do with goods victory over Evil). The main celebration is tomorrow and the streets are adorned with palm leaf weaving and small basket offerings to the spirits. I guess that makes today Gulungu Eve so Happy Gulungu everyone!
Missing You,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxx
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Shane & Other Primates
The Josh Franco Update
We went to the zoo. We saw monkeys. Monkeys like bananas.
Quick update from Singapore airport courtesy of Free Internet.
We have spent the last couple of days in the big cities of Kuala Lumpur and Singapore. They were quite the contrast to Bangkok because it seemed someone actually put some thought into designing them rather than them just happening through a series of unconnected events. It also helps that they had clean and convenient public transport. Singapore's had a bonus rap about courtesy before you get on which scored it major bonus points with me.
So Kuala Lumpur and the Equator Hostel were our first stop. Once we got over the shock of everyone looking a little bit like Shane we managed to go to Malaysia's largest indoor theme park, the world's 4th highest telecommunications tower and a strange, small underground zoo where a monkey aggravated a komodo dragon and a guinea pig lived happily side by side with turtles. We also went to the finals of The Malaysian Open Tennis Championship. Here Tiger Davydenko overcame Tiger Verdasco 6-4 7-5 in what was a really fast paced and competitive match. It really is one of those sports where you have to see it live to understand the speed of thought that is actually required to play at the top level. It was also quite shocking just how much better the singles players were than the doubles players. I think maybe Davydenko could have taken the doubles champs. Another highlight for me was when we saw a B-Boy crew break dancing outside a free Asian pop concert whilst the Asian N-Dubz were onstage. I wanted to battle them but Nic wisely advised me not to as when I embarassed them with my clearly superior moves they might pull a blade or a shooter.
After KL we trained it down to Singapore. We only really had one day in the city but we managed to do a quick tour of China Town (where Nic tried on dresses and I faked interest) and Castle Quay where I fulfilled my life long dream of eating at a Hooters restaurant. It wasn't too sexy (Though there was a waitress paying no interest to tables but instead just hula hooping) and it was 10 SGD for three courses and a drink. Apologies to Germaine Greer and Angela Carter but it was good eating. After this we headed to Singapore Zoo and the attached Night Safari. Even for a child raised on Durrell it was extremely impressive. The pygmy hippos were a favourite for both of us. Too dense to float and unable to swim they kind of tip-toe along the ocean / river floor like fat underwater trotting horse-pigs. The Night Safari was another experience entirely. Set in a different park it involved tram rides and shows with the nocturnal animals. The best part though was just walking around the paths and observing the animals in a more natural habitat. It was amazing the simple change from day to night had on their behaviour allowing them to be less inhibited (though not in a sexy way) and just act almost as if we weren't there watching them.
Today we are flying to Bali. We thought we were flying this morning but apparently the airline had contacted the travel agency in July to tell them the time had changed. This message was not passed to us. Here lies the folly of not phoning to confirm your flights. We have heard about the earthquakes and things in the neighbouring areas but it seems from what we can find on the internet that Bali hasn't been affected too much and should be safe (Don't worry Mum!) and we're looking forward to hitting the beaches again. Two weeks and then it's Australia but I'm sure I'll be hitting you kids up before then.
Be good.
Missing you,
Steve & Nic
xxxx
We went to the zoo. We saw monkeys. Monkeys like bananas.
Quick update from Singapore airport courtesy of Free Internet.
We have spent the last couple of days in the big cities of Kuala Lumpur and Singapore. They were quite the contrast to Bangkok because it seemed someone actually put some thought into designing them rather than them just happening through a series of unconnected events. It also helps that they had clean and convenient public transport. Singapore's had a bonus rap about courtesy before you get on which scored it major bonus points with me.
So Kuala Lumpur and the Equator Hostel were our first stop. Once we got over the shock of everyone looking a little bit like Shane we managed to go to Malaysia's largest indoor theme park, the world's 4th highest telecommunications tower and a strange, small underground zoo where a monkey aggravated a komodo dragon and a guinea pig lived happily side by side with turtles. We also went to the finals of The Malaysian Open Tennis Championship. Here Tiger Davydenko overcame Tiger Verdasco 6-4 7-5 in what was a really fast paced and competitive match. It really is one of those sports where you have to see it live to understand the speed of thought that is actually required to play at the top level. It was also quite shocking just how much better the singles players were than the doubles players. I think maybe Davydenko could have taken the doubles champs. Another highlight for me was when we saw a B-Boy crew break dancing outside a free Asian pop concert whilst the Asian N-Dubz were onstage. I wanted to battle them but Nic wisely advised me not to as when I embarassed them with my clearly superior moves they might pull a blade or a shooter.
After KL we trained it down to Singapore. We only really had one day in the city but we managed to do a quick tour of China Town (where Nic tried on dresses and I faked interest) and Castle Quay where I fulfilled my life long dream of eating at a Hooters restaurant. It wasn't too sexy (Though there was a waitress paying no interest to tables but instead just hula hooping) and it was 10 SGD for three courses and a drink. Apologies to Germaine Greer and Angela Carter but it was good eating. After this we headed to Singapore Zoo and the attached Night Safari. Even for a child raised on Durrell it was extremely impressive. The pygmy hippos were a favourite for both of us. Too dense to float and unable to swim they kind of tip-toe along the ocean / river floor like fat underwater trotting horse-pigs. The Night Safari was another experience entirely. Set in a different park it involved tram rides and shows with the nocturnal animals. The best part though was just walking around the paths and observing the animals in a more natural habitat. It was amazing the simple change from day to night had on their behaviour allowing them to be less inhibited (though not in a sexy way) and just act almost as if we weren't there watching them.
Today we are flying to Bali. We thought we were flying this morning but apparently the airline had contacted the travel agency in July to tell them the time had changed. This message was not passed to us. Here lies the folly of not phoning to confirm your flights. We have heard about the earthquakes and things in the neighbouring areas but it seems from what we can find on the internet that Bali hasn't been affected too much and should be safe (Don't worry Mum!) and we're looking forward to hitting the beaches again. Two weeks and then it's Australia but I'm sure I'll be hitting you kids up before then.
Be good.
Missing you,
Steve & Nic
xxxx
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
The Beach.
The Josh Franco Section
We went to The Beach. Leonardo DiCaprio was in The Beach. Leonardo Di Caprio is NOT Tobey Maguire.
First things first. I am pooing fine now. Thanks for the support though.
So where did we leave you? The islands. After leaving Koh Phagan we journeyed across sea and land from the Gulf of Thailand side of the island to the Indian (Is that the PC Term?) Ocean. The journey was pretty much without incident though the mini-bus driver did stop a number of times to drop brown paper packages into slightly dodgy looking locales.
Eventually we reached our next stop which was the sea-port town of Krabbi. The hotels for this leg of the trip where booked in Bangkok through the mysterious Mister PK and they haven't dissapointed. Our room was massive with a bed that could probably fit four comfortably and about twelve if reproductive organ to ass spooning was going on. The only down side was the hotel was in the shadow of an even more luxurious hotel which led to some 'grass is always greener' syndrome. Anyway, the area was nice but didn't have much to distinguish it from the town areas we'd already been to with entrepeneurs on every street corner pushing their 25% discounts and fine suits. The most exciting thing that happened was when a man placed his moneky puppet on Nic's shoulder... except it wasn't a puppet. Nic was living her monkey hug dream but didn't even realise it. In fact it was more a monkey hug nightmare with the man quoting prices for photos and the monkey looking like it might do a poo out of fear. I of course wasn't jealous because I had been pooing by now. The other distinguishing thing about the area was that we began to understand why they call this time the rain season with some sudden violent outbursts of water pouring down every couple of hours. This would affect the next leg of the trip.
Whilst I enjoy travelling my parents / girlfriend / friends will tell you that I'm not always the best at it. Nic knows my sicky face well. It was something she saw on our boat trip from Krabbi to Koh Phi Phi. On a rickety old boat with the winds raging outside we were tossed side to side as water poured in from the front. The crew members laughed but more like men staring at the abyss than like they were enjoying themselves. The tipping point came when people behind us started being sick and they began to hand out bin liners. As the smells crept into my nostrils I thought I would be next. Nic advised I lie down and try and go to a happy place. So much like a rape victim I lied back and took it. Unlike a rape victim I listened to Explosions In The Sky to calm my heart rate. Nic of course had a nice nap and was quite surprised I was in such a state when we reached shore. Still we survived and I wasn't sick. I deserve a medal.
Koh Phi Phi Don was an incredibly different experience to anywhere else we've been. A tiny island with no roads and a busy and populated centre of winding streets filled with shops, restaurants, tourism offices and diving schools. Stimuli everywhere competing for your attention. Unlike other places though the hustle and bustle was kind of enjoyable making you feel like you were in a pirate town. Our bungalow accomodation was just outside the busiest area and was again top notch. This was also the first area (apart from Bangkok) we'd been to that actually seemed busy which again was a welcome change.
Phi Phi Don has experienced a boom in tourism in the past ten years after the release of The Beach. Though the film is set on a fictional island on the other side of the country it was inspired by Phi Phi Don's neighbour Phi Phi Lay. We journeyed here to do some snorkling and for a bit of a The Beach experience (Making up for the earlier Titanic experience getting here). Like the film it's a veritable playground of caves and lagoons. As we went past a rickety pier on our long boat it did feel a bit like we were on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. To get to The Beach itself there was a rope structure set-up through caves and over a wooden ladder. Quite inspiringly our guide gave us no instructions leading us to think it would be an easier jounrney than it looked. It wasn't. After making our way through a small National Park jungle we reached the beach itself. It's quite hard to describe how you can get such a remote and peaceful place. To go with a Jersey description it's a bit like round the back at Greve times a hundred. I think Nic's photos do a better job of capturing it (one at the top of this post). It's probably my favourite thing we've done so far.
On the island Nic also went through with her promise that she was going to get a tattoo. She was at first reluctant hoping to find a tattoist who didn't have any tattoos / piercings himself and spoke English as a first language (preferebly with a degree). Eventually she settled on a grungy place playing Rage Against The Machine / The Libertines / Placebo. (Our current hotel has James Blunt on repeat. You win some, you lose some.) She got 'Wray' tattooed on her wrist (See photo). She once again shot down ' Josh Franco Sucks' and I can only presume chose this as a mispelt tribute to her favourite character from hit sitcom 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.
We are now in Phuket which in't prenouned as funnily as it's spelt but is still a funny name (Poo-ket). This is a much larger island than Phi Phi and although we were only there four days came as a bit of a culture shock. Here the weather seems even more volatile but that means there are some gnarly (oh yeah) looking waves that I plan on throwing myself into later.
In a couple of days we leave Thailand and head onto Malaysia. We have tickets booked for the final of the Malaysian Tennis Open so if you fancy getting up at 8.30 on Saturday to watch it on Eurosport 8 or whatever then look out for us!
Internet time is running down now. Again thanks for the comments and please feel free to leave some more.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxxx
Monday, 21 September 2009
Elephanting
The abbreviated Jose version:
'We rode on an elephant. The elephant did a big poo. Elephants are wrinkly.'
The last three days have been a heady mix of the terrifying, the fun and the sleeping in a hammock. On our final day in Samui we took a tour with hotel guide Fong. This would involve travelling along the precarious roads of the island on the back of motor bikes. There were no helmets on offer, 'no one wears helmets here' Nic assured me. I'm sorry Mum but we went for it. Nic and I would travel on the back of motor bikes driven by our trustworthy guide Fong and a surly Swiss seventy one year old called Randy who smoked like a chimney and was on a 7 week holiday (I imagine while 'the heat' died off) who was extremely reluctant to share his bike with anyone because he feared he may kill / injure them. Sitting on the back of his bike I shared this fear. To be fair it probably was worth this risk to get to see the island and enjoy a bit more of the culture. The highlight being two rocks known as grand father and grand mother that were shaped like a penis and lady gates respectively. There is a picture of me stroking said dong. Fong also took us out of the beaten track for some spicy and delicious authentic thai food. For those in J-town i'd recommend visiting the Dicq Shack and getting some spicy snapper fish. Presuming they serve it.
After Samui we departed for Koh Phangan the world famous party capital and home of the full moon party. We didn't time our visit for these parties and instead spent our first two days here relaxing. Staying at the Shiralea Resort, run by some former Jersey residents, we have a spacious bungalow with a hammock on deck, swimming pool and short walk to the beach. This was a welcome improvement from Samui where you have to navigate a maze of hotel resorts to find any semblance of beach. At night the beach comes alive with BBQs held by the different restaurants. Here we sat facing the ocean watching fire dancers and eating the type of BBQ that even Bingo Bob would be proud of.
So the first two days were relaxing... Today not so much. We had booked ourselves on the Koh Phangan Safari. Picked up at 8.30 on our way to the Safari base we saw a man with a fully grown Gibbon on his lap riding a motorbike. I shit you not. And this wasn't even part of the safari. The actual building initially filled me with a little trepidation. There were elephants and tiny monkeys all chained up and the facilities didn't seem great. Durrell it was not. Still we persevered. First was the elephant trek which involved journeying round park land on the back of one of these beasts as its child walked along side. About halfway through, the guide abandoned ship and left the elephant to walk us back. This gave the young one a chance to throw dirt over us. Still, on the back of these things I felt safer than biking with Swiss Randy. After the elephants came a weird show where a man and woman danced around like complete psychos and then put King Cobras in their mouths. It was as strange as it sounds. Afterward we had a chance to interact with less deadly boa snakes. As some of you may know my fear of snakes is just one way in which I am exactly like Indiana Jones. Once again I looked fear directly in the face and after some coaxing from Nic I touched that snake on its back. basically I am Bear Grylls meets Terry Nutkins. After that we said goodbye to the park. Yes there wasn't much room for the animals to roam but they kept them washed and fed and the staff seemed to have a good relationship with them. The rest of the day was pretty standard viewing a dried out waterfall (Exciting), a Chinese temple and going snorkelling. There are many fish out here! Heading back to base camp after this and I think I'll fall asleep in the hammock for a third night in a row.
Thanks for all the comments so far. It is heartening that his blog has more followers in 3 posts than my personal blog has after 158 posts. Heading back to the mainland tomorrow and bussing it to the sea side town of Krabbi. I think there should be more photos up too.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ps - I haven't had a poo in 5 days. Any suggestions? Nics bowel movements are fine.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Tuk Tuk Rally
The Josh Franco section
Today we saw two cute puppies. They were brown with white spots. I like cute puppies.
Due to his learning difficulties Josh refuses to read anything longer than three sentences so I had to post this for him. Non morons please read on.
Greetings Sports Fans
How are you? (Wait for response). Awesome, I was hoping you'd be well. We're here in a small internet cafe / travel agent in Kho Samui between two bars filled with old white men looking for young Thai ladies. Good times.
Last time I left you we'd just arrived in Bangkok and oh boy does that seem a long time ago. After the initial shock of arriving we set out in the next two days to see more of the city. Our chosen form of transport was the Tuk Tuk. These are basically three wheeled bike / car jobbies with a carriage on the back. From the outside they look incredibly dangerous but inside they seem safe as houses. Kind of like a Fantasyland ride at Disney - Mostly smooth sailing but with enough turns and sudden stops to keep kids and adults interested. Plus they can dodge through traffic and for the most part are very cheap. On Monday we chartered one and he took us around the city's Buddhist monuments. As this was a Buddhist holiday all the monuments were free entry and the tuk tuk driver gave us an extra low price. We saw the giant standing Buddha, the smaller sitting Buddha (he was sitting) and the impressive great mound which were 400 steps to a temple overlooking the city. I don't know about you but I think Christianity could benefit from a few 100 foot giant golden statues of Jesus. On Monday before we left Bangkok another cheap Tuk Tuk tuk (get it? us to see Siam and its labyrinth shopping centres. Unwilling to spend our money on crap we decided to go see The Final Destination in 3D! Oh yes. A trip to the cinema in Thailand is similar to the UK except its cheaper (thats not saying much. The giant golden Buddha statue was probably cheaper than a UK cinema trip), it has trailers for crazy ass Thai movies (one seemed to be about an old man making out with his daughter) and before the film you have to stand whilst a short film of the king plays soundtracked by the national anthem. Weird.
There was only one downside to our Tuk Tuk excursions.
FACT: The Bangkok economy is entirely reliant on tailors.
It seems to be difficult to walk along any Thai street without someone trying to summon you into a tailors with promise of making you a cheap yet high quality suit. I don't doubt their good intentions I JUST DON'T WANT A SUIT! It seems that Tuk Tuk drivers keep their prices cheap by being sponsored by said tailors. Any good priced journey will result in a trip to a tailors (or in one case jewelers) where you have to go in and feign interest in their product. We didn't know this at first and our tuk tuk driver was quite put out by our flat out refusal to buy many fine suits. He got over it. My favourite of these forced trips was to the jewelery shop. We asked questions about birth stones and made up relatives who needed presents (No diamonds for you Mum!). On our way to the train station the driver who was already charging an extortionate price because of rush hour tried to take us to a tailor. I thought Nicki might sock him in the mouth. Luckily he responded to our refusal to go in by taking us to our destination without any argument.
Following Bangkok we took the night train south. It was nice to see the area by train and despite being in Second Class with no AC and just a fan it was very comfortable. We had bunk beds like in prison! We then took a boat and ferry and now find ourselves on the tropical island paradise (Like Jersey!) of Kho Samui. We are staying at the Tropical Garden Hotel and have a lovely little bungalow and 24 hour pool which we have been merking night and day (With Poolside Jenga!). Today we had a look around the island heading to the main tourist beach area. I thought our hotel was nice but some of the places down there were something else. You can tell the clientale they are looking for. Some English people approached us to do market research for their new property. Once being told we were under 25 they weren't interested anymore. Anyway, after the beach we explored more of the island and visited a giant Buddha on a beach. 50 Bah (about one pound) bought us a brick in their new temple with our names on (Nicki wouldn't let me put 'JOSH FRANCO SUCKS' ON IT). We also saw some cute puppies.
We have another day in Samui and then off to explore a few of the other islands where maybe if you're good you'll get another update. Nic has put the photos on her Facebook page and hopefully I can soon convince her to put them on the Photo Bucket account she set up.
Wish you were here,
Steve & Nicki
xxx
PS - We saw a 7-8 year old child wandering round in Bangkok holding a picture of Sam Tannas weeping 'Papa, Papa' over and over again. It was probably a coincidence.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Hey Ho, Let's Go
Greetings Friends
It's Sunday afternoon and we are rocking with our Bangkoks out. We arrived in Thailand two days ago and boy howdy it has been hectic so far. The journey was excellent. In some type of act of karma the plane had about twelve excellent films to choose from after I had PS I Love You and The Chipmunks n my last long plane journey (Go see Adventureland!). After getting in we were whisked to our hotel in the middle of some sort of meat packing slum. The actual place was great but we were warned not go out because 'dangerous'. Still it gave us the chance to get used to the humidity and enjoy some Thai food. Also we were next to a river with giant fish and tiny crocodile.
Bangkok itself is just an assault on the senses. Noise, people and most of all smells. Some are good, many are confusing, some awful. Everything is sugar based it seems. Anyway, we had a walk along the Khao San Road and were offered everything from tuk tuk rides to tailoring to eye tattoos to foot massages from tiny fish. It's so cheap but it doesn't mean it's enticing in anyway.
We have another day here and then we're heading on a 14 hour train ride to Ko Samu aka the beach. Still, I think it'll be a more enjoyable journey than going down Brelades on a busy summers day.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxx
PS - No luck finding your illegitimate son Tannas. Sorry. We'll keep looking.
It's Sunday afternoon and we are rocking with our Bangkoks out. We arrived in Thailand two days ago and boy howdy it has been hectic so far. The journey was excellent. In some type of act of karma the plane had about twelve excellent films to choose from after I had PS I Love You and The Chipmunks n my last long plane journey (Go see Adventureland!). After getting in we were whisked to our hotel in the middle of some sort of meat packing slum. The actual place was great but we were warned not go out because 'dangerous'. Still it gave us the chance to get used to the humidity and enjoy some Thai food. Also we were next to a river with giant fish and tiny crocodile.
Bangkok itself is just an assault on the senses. Noise, people and most of all smells. Some are good, many are confusing, some awful. Everything is sugar based it seems. Anyway, we had a walk along the Khao San Road and were offered everything from tuk tuk rides to tailoring to eye tattoos to foot massages from tiny fish. It's so cheap but it doesn't mean it's enticing in anyway.
We have another day here and then we're heading on a 14 hour train ride to Ko Samu aka the beach. Still, I think it'll be a more enjoyable journey than going down Brelades on a busy summers day.
Missing you all,
Steve & Nic
xxxxxxx
PS - No luck finding your illegitimate son Tannas. Sorry. We'll keep looking.
Monday, 31 August 2009
One Week To Go
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain